Loved, Loveable, Loving.

I was in church this weekend. It was the second time I've played with the band. I'm loving being able to express my music in a group. Very fun.

I was sitting and listening to the sermon, which, to be honest, is my least favorite part of the gathering. I've heard so much of the same thoughts spoken over and over again.

The pastor was preaching on David and Goliath - again, something I've heard many times before. My mind started wandering. I looked around the room and started wondering what people were thinking listening to this. For me, it was just... well, bland. But was it the same for others? I wondered who was being encouraged by this message. Maybe some of them were. Who's to say?

I started thinking about love and was asking myself, I wonder how many people believe that God actually loves them. Not only loves, but really likes them, too. Every aspect about them. Their quirks and idiosyncrasies. Their faults and weaknesses. Their quirks and Idiosyncrasies mislabeled as faults and weaknesses. He loves the whole enchilada.

I was thinking about the gospel, which is a Greek word that means "good news." The message that Jesus, the scruffy, Birenstock-wearing wild Jewish rabbi taught what he called good news. Christian churches are supposed to teach good news, but in all honesty, I don't think they do. They teach behavior management. Do this, don't do that. Think like this, don't think like that. Accept this group, but reject that group. It doesn't feel right. It certainly doesn't sound like good news to me.

If I had to pin down the good news as I understand Jesus to have taught it, it is: You are loved. You are loveable. You are loving.

"You are loved" means that God, the prime mover, the force behind why anything exists, cares for you and wants the best for you. Even in tragedy, this being still loves you. I can already sense the problem of evil flag, but for now let's put it aside and just say that God loves us.

"You are loveable" means that at the core of your being, the you-est you that you are is worthy of being loved. This is especially difficult for us because our society says that you aren't. They need you to feel "less than" so you'll buy their products. A content person doesn't make the best consumer.

"You are loving" is the final step in the loving process. Once you've felt unconditional love, and believed that you are worthy of that love, you can't help but have that spill over into how you treat others, even your enemies. That's how you know you've really internalized the good news. When you aren't threatened to be loving to all people.

This isn't the good news my church taught me. They taught adherence to doctrine and avoidance of sin. They would say you were always in danger of "losing your salvation," so I was never 100% comfortable with living my life. I was always second-guessing my choices. Even now, I can't say I'm there. Maybe none of us are there. 100% comfortable with who we are.

I'm a bit of a perfectionist. My work demands it. If engineering projects fail to conform to standards, stuff breaks, so we have to be exact. From what I understand now, theology and philosophy of life is not that way. There are many journeys, individual paths we are all on. Do they all end up at the same place? I guess that's the mystery.

I have a saying: All roads lead everywhere. Every destination is reached via a road. You can get anywhere by roads, so technically every road leads everywhere. The thing with roads, though, is you can go one of two ways on them. You can go one way that takes you closer to your destination or go the other way which takes you away from it. It's not the road, it's the orientation that determines if you reach your endpoint.

What's the endpoint for humanity? It depends on each person's orientation. Following the path of self-centeredness and lack of empathy will carry you to one place. Following the path of compassion and love will take you to another. Nothing is ever set in stone. We are all free to change our minds at any time, switch our orientation, make a u-turn and move again. This is what the old church term "repentance" means. It comes from the Greek word "metanoia" or "change your mind." Adjust your thinking to a higher plane.

Sometimes I think the church needs to repent of repentance. I think they have trained people to associate repentance with shame, as if something is wrong with you at the core of your being. But, if you can grab a hold of the idea that you are loved, loveable and loving, repenting is merely changing your thought process. It's recognizing something isn't working well and you're going to try something else. It's not the boogeyman the church has made it out to be.

I'm working on repentance in my fitness journey. I can admit I've let some things slip away from me. Gaining 100 pounds over 10 years probably isn't the greatest thing for my body. I'm learning how to think differently about my health. I am choosing not to sit in shame and beat myself up. I'm just acknowledging that the past 10 years haven't worked well for me and I'm going to try something different. At the root of it, I will continue to remind myself: I am loved. I am loveable. I am loving.

Down 0.9 lbs.