Groovy Beats

Well, I did it. After almost 10 years of absence, I got back in the saddle and played music at a church service.

It brought back all the memories and feels of why I liked to play music with a group. There definitely is some rust on the fingers, so it will take me a hot minute to get comfortable again, but the key thing is I did it.

Those that know me know my story. I grew up involved in church music. I can remember my parents being a little surprised at our small church in Folsom where I led the kids group in a Native American dance from the piano. No cultural appropriation intended - it was just the only song I knew.

Drums and piano are my main instruments and I love them. There's something magical about making melodies and rhythms with a group of people. Really hard to put into words, but it feels like I'm home when I'm playing with people. I feel like I can be my authentic self and help make the world a little bit more beautiful.

When I was in high school, we went to a larger church. They had a bookstore where they sold church music from other big churches. Now, this was back in the 90's when a CD cost around $10. Church music sold for almost triple that amount. And it bothered me. I couldn't see how they could make people pay for the experience of an encounter with God. Jesus flipped over tables in his church for things like that.

Fast forward to the mid 2010's. I had just come back from a retreat on the east coast where God absolutely affirmed my personhood as an introvert. He gave me permission to be contemplative and deep. So when the leadership at church criticized me for not leading with the same charisma as the mega church down the street, it stung. Like, really stung. My music has always been about authenticity and truth, and I was being asked to change for marketing purposes. Still frosts my Fritos to this day.

So, it's a big deal when I say that I played again. I feel like a part of me was reclaimed. How often I'll play and where all of this will go, I don't know. From a technical viewpoint, this group is young and could use some help with building up their music chops. Maybe I can help there, but only in the sense of bringing out their true identity. I never want to be on the giving end of making someone feel like they can't be who they are. We are all enough.

If there's anything I can say, it's only to not let your past control your future. Every day is new and you get to choose how to approach it. We all carry baggage, and our culture isn't good about teaching us how to deal with it, hence all the distractions of access. Even religious institutions aren't good at it. They focus on numbers and doctrine, not the well-being of the soul. But that doesn't mean we have to be stuck. If we can slow down and take time for kindness, both for ourselves and for others, we can make the outer and inner world better places to live.

Up 1.6 pounds.