Cope Differently

Well, I'm starting a season of going at it alone. For budget reasons, I paused my work with my trainer. She was very understanding and said to just keep using the tools I've developed with her. Logging meals, exercise snacks and walks.

I definitely have a bit of fear. I've held my weight pretty constant for the past year. I have a concern that without accountability it will keep rising (like this week, thanks to the Super Bowl). In another sense, there's also a bit of excitement. I want to prove to myself that I can do hard things.

So it's a mix.

With my trainer, I had non-scale victories. I learned about intuitive eating. I learned to pay attention the inner jerk and politely tell it to go pound sand. It's unfortunate that it didn't really translate into numbers on the scale or inches around the midsection. But that's okay. I just haven't reached that part of my journey where the numbers are dropping.

Part of what I experience is comparison obsession. I'm always assessing myself as I relate to others. There are people that can work out consistently and eat the perfect portions of nutrient-dense food while avoiding calorie-dense ones. I look at them and judge myself to be lacking.

I'm sure you've heard that comparison is the thief of joy. No good comes from comparing your journey to another person's journey. For one, all you tend to see are the good things about the person. You're not aware of all the phobias, anxieties and insecurities that they're experiencing. My therapist says if you want to be like someone else, you have to take the whole package, not just the things you deem admirable.

I guarantee you people that seem to have it all together are letting their stress and anxiety slip out in other ways. My drug of choice for stress management is food, work and YouTube. I numb and distract myself with those vices. And that's not entirely a bad thing. We all have coping strategies. Each strategy comes with tradeoffs.

Workaholism provides a sense of purpose and monetary reward, but can amplify the American obsession with productivity and efficiency. Life becomes viewed as transactional when work consumes an imbalanced amount of time.

YouTube can be a good thing. I typically listen to podcasts on AI and spirituality. So I'm learning things, but again, it can become obsessive. It can cause me to live solely in my head as opposed to also living in my body. I suppose walking while listening could help this. Probably something for me to thing about.

Lastly, food. Ah, delicious treats. Salty and savory are my favorites. I love the first few bites of popcorn or chips or cheese. Again, there's nothing wrong with food that tastes good. My trouble is I have a hard time stopping. My hunger cues don't catch up with my food intake and I go over what would be considered a healthy portion.

All of this to say, my coping strategies aren't bad, but they do carry effects that can impact the long term, food being the biggest one. The extra fat I'm carrying affects my sleep, my mobility and my energy levels. I'm sure there's also an effect to my longevity.

It may be time to focus on other coping strategies to balance myself out. I could read more or do more with playing music. Something to get past the overconsumption of food and extended work hours. It would probably be helpful to myself and the world if I found different outlets to bring my creativity out in public.

Coping differently could benefit both the short term and the long term. It could help make me a more well-rounded person. I can look at my current habits with appreciation. I can thank them for serving me and making me feel safe and loved for all these years. I can also say goodbye to these friends as I make new ones that are more mature and life-giving. Time to cope differently.

Up 5.2 pounds.