That's Not Fair



As I was finishing the last of the Christmas cookies, I couldn't help but think, "Well, I'm glad THAT'S over." It's so funny in our culture how we have access to all these yummy foods, yet I feel guilty when I partake.

I think this stems from what I perceive is a lack of self-control. Now I know this is the modus operandi for diet culture. You swear off treats, deprive yourself, only to give in a few weeks later and binge ALL the foods. I've lived that over and over again. And I'm tired of it.

I was speaking with my therapist about self-control as it relates to food. I can get rather hard on myself and see my eating habits as a sign of weakness. She disagrees. To her, we are reaping the exact result we would expect for our culture. We are biologically wired to seek out food, especially sweet and fatty foods. When you lived on the plains and didn't know where your next meal was coming, you ate as much as you could, as often as you could.

We don't live in that environment today. We have an abundance of food (setting aside food deserts for a moment). We can typically go to the grocery store and walk away with a basket of goodies without needing to hunt or grow anything.

We also live in a highly market-driven economy where businesses have a fiduciary responsibility to share holders to maximize returns. So foods are engineered to be addictive while being less satiating so we'll buy more.

So my therapist says to be a little easier on myself. I can get behind that... sort of. I can ease up on judging or condemning myself. I'm not weak. I'm the product of my environment. My body is an average representation of typical mid-40's white male working in a sedentary job. In some regards, it's not my fault.

But I don't like the follow-up idea that I'm helpless to change it. Let's say it's 100% true that my culture is conspiring to produce the body that I see in the mirror every day, with its accompanying activity level, body fat percentage and cholesterol. Do I just accept reality as it is and acquiesce?

This is tension I think we all face. The world isn't fair. It's just not. There will always be richer, smarter, thinner people that hold more influence over culture. Do we compare ourselves to that group? As the saying goes, "Comparison is the thief of joy." I want to be joyful, so I can't compare myself to those people or their definition of an ideal physique.

I think I'm trying to learn the balance between being content with the present and wanting to improve the future. I listened to a recent interview with Tony Robbins. He said there are basically two states of nature: growth and decay. Nothing is static. Given enough time, without active intervention, things atrophy and decay.

So if we do nothing, we're reducing our thriving. Just maintaining the status quo requires effort. So maybe that's the secret. Instead of telling ourselves it shouldn't hard, the life should be effortless, we remind ourselves of the law of nature. No effort leads to decay. Thriving requires work.

And we're worth thriving. Yes, it's unfair food corporations aren't structured to optimize my nutrition. It's unfair I work in an industry that burns people out in the name of profits. It's unfair I don't have the genetics that predispose me to being thin. But I don't want that to stop me from growing strong. I would much have the belief that I'm in control of my life, not food executives. I would rather try and fail than give up. 

Even if I can't give it 110%, I can still show up. Some days won't go as planned. This morning I needed to sleep, so I only got a 5 minute morning walk in instead of 30 minutes. But 5 minutes (or even 1 minute) is better than no minutes. I can take pride in the fact that I listened to my body and also showed up.

Back to my phrase of the year, I'm focusing on relaxed improvement. I can enjoy the journey to becoming a healthier version of myself. I can be proud that I'm putting in effort, even when it's not fair.

As an aside, I'm in no way making a blanket statement on other people's journeys. Remember the quote about comparison robbing joy. I won't compare my struggles with someone else's. I think most people are trying their best. To that, all I would say is what 12-step programs pray. Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Up 3 5 pounds.

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