Ask Me Anything

We had a company meeting today where our executive vice president presented our current outlook, what we did well, and what can be improved. She had an AMA (ask me anything) site open before the meeting where people could submit questions to have answered. I submitted one and it got picked up during the meeting. It's a little unnerving to hear your name being spoken in a meeting of several thousand employees.

My question had to do with learned helplessness. Our company has had some difficult years and our profitability is down. I asked what we can do to help right the ship. Our VP said it starts with management and leadership. We can't just ask engineers to keep doing more and more without support.

I appreciate the sentiment, though it still makes me feel helpless that I have to wait for leadership to act. I want to know what are things I personally can do to help. In some ways, I think there's a lesson here that applies to all areas of life. Some problems we have control over and others, we don't. It takes wisdom and courage to know which is which.

My eating patterns are a mix. While I am ultimately responsible for what goes in my body, there are environmental factors that go into the choice. Stress, boredom, life events and culture all play a role. Something I've been learning is to treat myself with grace. I am overweight according to medical charts, along with the majority of the population. Some of it's my fault, but some of it is not.

If I was in a minority, it could be chalked up to poor choices. But I'm in the majority, so there's something cultural at play. It can't just be poor self-control.

I think my body is an accurate representation of my environment. The high-paced world of corporate life tends to treat everything as a productivity expense. There is no notion of cherishing or valuing employees. It's all in service of the profit margin. Health is a long-term goal which can take a backseat to short-term gains. I overeat because I move between stress and boredom. I have a hard time finding the pleasant middle where I'm content.

This seems to be the American way of life. No time to slow down and cherish the journey. Everything is on fire and it needs to be addressed immediately. We need a better way to work. A better way to live.

Where does it start? It probably starts with me and tiny steps I can take to foster contentment. For example, just before I sat down to write this blog, I took 30 minutes to do some breathwork exercises. I needed to clear my head after the company meeting. It takes effort to pull away, and it's important to do so.

Ultimately, our happiness is our own choice. Circumstances are outside our control, but the narrative we tell ourselves is in our wheelhouse. We can choose to observe our reactions and decide if our life is better because of the way we're thinking. I can't turn the company around and make us profitable, but I can show up and do my job to the best of my ability. I can't control the fast-paced nature of work, but I can choose to have the courage to stop when it's becoming detrimental to my health.

At the end of the day, we're all on a journey of self-discovery, learning how to be the best version of ourselves.

Up a pound.