Spiritual Belly

I am convinced there are always two forces at play in human relationships. The force of attraction and the force of repulsion. What do I mean by that? Well, let's start with what's obvious. We are distinct people. I am me and you are you and we are different. But how different are we? We both have bodies, but they are different bodies. We both have minds, but they are different minds. We both have experiences, but they are different experiences. We can choose to focus on the similarities or the differences. That's what I mean by attraction and repulsion. When we focus on what divides us, we increase the division. We further separate ourselves from each other. When we choose to focus on what we share in common, we close the distance between each other. We begin to see ourselves in the face of the other. Is one better than the other? I'm not sure. I don't like conflict, so I tend to be a unifier. In the sense of reducing conflict, attraction is helpful. But too much a...

I was having a conversation with a family member about science and its role in our lives. Now, science is a synonym for objective truth. When something can be proven scientifically, the thought is we've arrived at ground truth. And what is ground or objective truth? Something that exists independent of any subjective viewpoint. Objective truth is the cold, hard fact. The laws of nature, unyielding and uncompromising. This is what I wonder, though. I'm not sure we can ever experience the objective. Not really. Everything external to us has to pass through our subjective lens before it hits us. And that lens tells us a story about the data. It paints a picture that shapes our responses and emotions to the world. Let's take a somewhat controversial idea. Vaccines. Last week I got the flu and Covid vaccinations. Right there, with that one statement, I have now placed myself in a camp. I have made friends and enemies. In some eyes, I am now a embracing science. In other eyes, I ...

Well, I'm starting a season of going at it alone. For budget reasons, I paused my work with my trainer. She was very understanding and said to just keep using the tools I've developed with her. Logging meals, exercise snacks and walks. I definitely have a bit of fear. I've held my weight pretty constant for the past year. I have a concern that without accountability it will keep rising (like this week, thanks to the Super Bowl). In another sense, there's also a bit of excitement. I want to prove to myself that I can do hard things. So it's a mix. With my trainer, I had non-scale victories. I learned about intuitive eating. I learned to pay attention the inner jerk and politely tell it to go pound sand. It's unfortunate that it didn't really translate into numbers on the scale or inches around the midsection. But that's okay. I just haven't reached that part of my journey where the numbers are dropping. Part of what I experience is comparison obsessio...

I can feel it. I can feel motivation waning. I was looking in the mirror today and noticed the shape of my body. I noticed the curves and creases and thought, "Ugh, I have so far to go." I have this voice in my head. I won't call it a still, small voice because it tends to be bellicose and loud, especially when I'm tired. It looks at my weight and judges me to be lazy and undisciplined. It speaks harshly to me about how I'm weak and can't achieve goals I set for myself. Basically, the voice is kind of a jerk. If you're anything like me, you have your own personal jerk, an unwelcome guest that's constantly criticizing you and telling you you're not enough. I want to lean into that voice and find out if it's one, truthful and two, helpful. First, truthful. Is it true that I'm weak, lazy and undisciplined? That's already too broad of a statement and cannot be answered as simply yes or no. Am I weak? Well, compared to body builders that can...